With the Slovak Cycling team-Matej Jurco, Roman Bronis, and Jan Valach before their departure for Slovakia today (ok, their moments here were not so so glorious perhaps, but I enjoyed chatting with them. Palmer would have had a blast).
I slept well, but woke up to a warm morning, so I did not feel like running right away. I said goodbye to some of the Slovak athletes leaving today and headed off one more time to the Olympic pool to see three more world records broken, one of which was by Michael Phelps. It may sound like it's getting old for me, but there is no such thing as getting tired of witnessing a world record being smashed in a packed swimming pool stadium. The closest experience to this one is being at the Tour de France, waiting for the first rider to ride by the spot where you are standing. A big time athletics high.
At the Slovak office, it was not much more calming with Lucia Klocova easily moving on to the 800m semifinals with the third fastest time and with the brothers Rizdorfer and Eva Kaliska winning Gold Medals in the kayak/slalom competitions.
Following some seriously glorious moments in the lives of athletes, I came up to my room feeling quite insignificant. I mean, my best time in the tables is 81st out of 85 competitors, which means only four women have entered the Games with a slower personal best than mine. Some of you may have been following this blog, thinking I had a chance at a medal. I mean, Steven Krashen and Lyle Bachman, two gurus in my field of study, have been posting on my blog. Or, should I say they were posting on my blog since now they know just how slow I am and probably won't bother. J No, seriously, I was quite disappointed to find out just how far back I was.
Don't get me wrong—I am not immersing myself in self-pity or lacking of perspective. I know there are people who, as Alex reminds me often, have difficulty just breathing or deal with cancer or other major health issues. So worrying about only being able to run a subpar marathon may sound rather pathetic. I guess I just don't want them to close the gate to the National Stadium before I get there—one of the coaches said they are closing it at 10:15... I hope he was joking. J
The thing is that my friend Abby, a former Winter Olympian, warned me about this: when people hear that you've participated in the Olympics, they immediately ask if you have won a medal. It's kind of like in linguistics, when people ask how many languages you speak, you cheat and count the ones you were once able to complete tests in back in high school. I mean, for the rest of my life, I may have to say, "No, actually, I was last.” Or, “No, actually, I was 82nd out of 85 competitors.”
I know I need to do two things right now. First, I need to look inside rather than outside to find meaning in this race. I must find a way to block off all the possible negativity of any coaches or media and find a way to ignore any disappointment on the side of my friends and family. Second, I know I have to somehow get myself into an even-headed and more optimistic mode. I think, up until now, it's all been figuring out what the worst possible disasters may be and how I will be dealing with them. Not for once have I thought that maybe, just maybe, I may actually have a pretty good race. How I wish I was as positive and optimistic as one of my running partners who never writes herself off! Though, needless to say, she indeed often ended up beating folks who were a lot faster than her on paper.
Well, this may not have been the most exciting entry, but I guess it reflects the turmoil I am feeling inside. Please, pray for me over this last day that I might find meaning within; so that I can, even just a little bit, believe that I am going to have a positive experience. I doubt I will have time to post anything more before the race. Aleksandar is coming tomorrow so I will get to spend some time with him and perhaps with his dad too. Then, I need to get my water bottles ready and just get all my things ready for the race. While I may not find time to post, I will check any comments you might post, so, please, feel free to do so. I am sure you will find a way to follow me during the race and you will hear from me soon after, though I worry my fan club will have shrunk significantly by then. J
Zuzana
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26 comments:
Zuzana,
Good luck with the race, but most importantly: HAVE FUN!. Enjoy the sights of Beijing and know that you are part of something not very many people get to experience first-hand. I am sure that everyone in their right mind is already proud of you for having gotten this far regardless of which position you finish in. And remember: Even the person who finishes in the 85th place is still the 85th best marathon runner in the world (i.e. better than 6 billion (?) people)!!!!!
Hi Zuzana,
Your fan club won't shrink with us!! You deserve to be there -- otherwise, you wouldn't be!
Stay positive, and just run the very best you can on the given day. That's all anybody can ask, and all you can ask of yourself.
Your fan club always, Michelle and Dennis Simonaitis
Ahoj Zuzana!
I want you to go to youtube right now and listen to Ride on Time by Black Box and then listen to Another One Bites the Dust. If that doesn't help, then you can listen to Eye of the Tiger by Survivor. :)
I remember one week before a race I was super nervous. I was sure I was going to be last place and have a horrible race because everyone else was so much faster than I was. My mom left me the following quote that helped immensely: "If you think you can do it, you're right. If you think you can't do it, you're still right".
I think you're in a great place because you don't have to defend a title-you can just move your way up and up and up. If you think you can, you can!
Even if you are last you will still be my favorite Olympic marathoner (I would say Olympian but Michael Phelps is incredibly attractive...) :)
I assure you, we will not be disappointed in you if run like you know you can and dig deep inside when you hit that wall.
Sorry, this has turned into a novel. !!Si se puede!!
Sarah Brooks
Oh Zuzana!
I think you're fabulous!
Naomi
Dear Zuzana,
I like this Lance Armstrong quotation:
"Anything is possible. You can be told that you have a 90-percent chance or a 50-percent chance or a 1-percent chance, but you have to believe, and you have to fight."
He was, of course, talking about battling cancer.
But the same is true for the race. If you go out there and you give it all you've got, you will have nothing to feel bad about afterwards, no matter where you finish. Nobody cares about what number you come in. We just want you to run with all your heart and soul, and we want you to feel good about how you ran.
And know that we are all very proud of you and cheering for you!
SK
Zuzana, All the other commenters have said it best. And you were a winner for me just by being there. I'm not an athlete, so I won't pretend to have an inkling of the state you're in to prepare for this run. Suffice it to say that "insignificant" is nowhere in the vocabulary I would use to describe you. Good luck, have fun, and remember that you are part of -- not just with -- the best runners in the world. Run, Zuzana, run!
I know you don't even know me and I don't really know you, except through MH, but I am still so excited about watching your race!
You posted a couple days ago about how you will probably be 20 minutes behind the first place runners, but a 2:40 marathon seems amazing to me! You're a winner in my eyes just because of your ability to run that far that quickly. I can barely complete a half in 2:40. Compared to me, you're AWESOME! :)
Plus, just being at the Olympics is a great honor. Only the best of the best make it there, remember that!
Zuzana,
Sometimes the Olympics make me a little sad because you watch people who are #2,3, or even 4 in the world heart broken about what they did. I think a few years later many of them realize how great what they did really was. Also, many of the greatest olympic moments have come from someone other than the gold medalist.
I think you have to focus on what the prize is and for you to have done what you have done is incredible. Don't ever down play that. Plus, you have people like me really excited to watch a marathon.
There is a comercial playing in the states now about Michael Phelps congratulating him, but I love when it says that he races himself. I think most athletes compete mainly against themselves and their doubts. I hate to say it, but this posting just makes you normal (I may never admit later to calling you normal).
You have trained so hard and are so amazing. Go out and do what you came to do and run your heart out. You have made us all so proud, and you should be proud of this accomplishment too. Enjoy the experience that few people in the world even get to have, and know that Karen, Colby and Sierra are cheering for you from Utah. You totally rock in running and in life.
-Karen
Dear Zuzana,
It's only normal to have doubts about yourself as the big day approaches. But you need to put things in perspective. Just being able to participate in the Olympics as a certified world-class athlete is a PHENOMENAL achievement. None of your fans expect you to win a medal or even be in the top half. We're proud of you just for being there -- and proud to tell others we know you!
Hopefully you'll be able to run your best under what will be difficult conditions. That should be your goal, nothing else.
All best wishes!
Tom Huckin
Zuzana,
Thanks for your great blog entry and sharing your perspective and insight on the experience so far. Anyone that hears you have been to the Olympics and cannot focus on anything other than winning a medal does not understand what an incredible achievement it is simply to be there and experience the competition. You're an Olympian. That's an amazing statement. We're pulling for you in Salt Lake and can't wait to watch you run the race of your life.
I don't want to come off sounding religious, but there's a moment when you've done all you can do when you receive grace. In your case, grace means the support and friendship of those who are cheering you on. My stepdaughter runs on the cross-country team at Highland High School. Maybe she doesn't relate to the fastest runners as much as she might see you as exemplifying something she can really accomplish. She looks up to you (although she's significantly taller). Your effort will have consequences that none of us can see today. That's the grace I'm talking about. We're hoping its the best race of your life -- wherever you finish.
A 2:38 marathon - This was the WORLD RECORD for men in 1913, and the WORLD RECORD for women in 1975!! This makes you one of the best runners in the history of the human race.
At the time of this writing, Phelps has one more race to go. If he gets the silver, and the first two break the world record, the media will say he failed.
Your accomplishments are amazing. Have a great race!
Steve Krashen
The ESL planning group at Westminster just met and all are wishing you well on Sunday. I read in a training guide once that the real victory in the marathon is getting to the starting line, because it takes so much work just to get there. That's even more true for the Olympic marathon. Best wishes! We'll all be glued to our TV sets.
-- Bob Shaw
Ahoj Zuzana,
found out about your blog listening to local NPR station while visiting Salt Lake City/Logan, UT earlier this week. Great to hear there are Slovaks this far away from home representing the good old country :-) Wish you all the best on your big day, I'll keep my fingers crossed! Good luck to you Zuzka!
Juraj from Boston
Zuzana,
The feelings you have are common, I think. Probably the same the other competitors are feeling. The same that others before you have felt. In 1989 I raced at the Junior National Championships for cycling. I had the slowest qualifying time in the sprints and was eliminated. I scored points in the points race but was eliminated. I didn't make the cut in the criterium qualifier, either. I can't even say I was beaten by Lance Armstrong because he didn't need to race the qualifying races. Those two weeks were still the highlight of my short,humble cycling career. Almost 20 years later I don't think about my failures there but instead, I think about what I accomplished. Those accomplishments are not recorded in any book but simply in my own personal memories.
I read your blog, not Micheal Phelps'. I set my Tivo for Sunday 2am-6am for your race, not his. I have never cheered for Slovakia before, but I will on Sunday. Television loves the person who crosses the line first, which is too bad because there are so many other ways to win. The results of the race will only highlight the winners but the race is held for ALL of the competitors.
We all face doubt in our daily lives but the Olympics are not daily life. I think the Olympics are about possibility. You have the possibility to run your fastest marathon and you also have the possibility to run your best marathon.
Run Zuzana, Run!
Dear Zuzana Tomas,
Picture success; failers do not see. What is seen is what will be. EXPECT TO WIN YOUR PERSONAL BEST - Pay attention to messages sent by Your mind, Every Second Counts ...
MYDEARCHILDYOUWILLNOTRUNALONE !
With Love DT !
Zuzana-
Wow! I'm sure you're even more blown away than I am about all the support you're getting from all across the world and all different kinds of people!
What you're experiencing now is the human element of sport, and that is exactly what makes it so amazing and exciting for the whole world to watch!
I know that to runners, the kind of work you did to get ready for this race is pretty routine. But when I think about you running from Kasperske Hory to Susice in the rain on vacation!, or taking time during the school year not only to teach, mentor other students, complete your own studies AND run the equivalent of a couple of marathons each week... that alone made me admire you, before you ever reached the Olympics.
You've already made us proud!!!
We mere mortals are cheering you every step of the way. A few more inspirational words from the Indian playwright Kalidasa:
Look to this day:
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth,
The glory of action,
The splendour of achievement
Are but experiences of time.
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision;
And today well-lived, makes
Yesterday a dream of happiness
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well therefore to this day.
Hi Zuzana,
You absolutely belong in that marathon race so don't you dare start thinking otherwise! From what Alex says you've got quite a number of girls with seed times similar to yours, so it'll be a great experience to possibly run with a pack IN THE OLYMPIC GAMES. How often do you get to run in a pack, and how often do you get to run in the Olympics? It's a great once-in-a-lifetime experience that you should soak up and enjoy, rather than stressing about where you're seeded. Just trust your training and fitness level, and go out and run the race you've prepared for. I am so proud of you for making the team and honored to have you as a friend, and no matter where you finish I will still be proud of you. So have fun, stay positive, and take the race as it unfolds before you.
zuzana,
Competing for your country in the olympic marathon is already a victory! think positive and i will be always your fan even after the 2008 olympics. stick to your race strategy but if there is an opportunity, go for it! good luck & we'll pray for you!
bald runner
www.baldrunner.com
Zuzka,
I think that it is just way cool that you are even in the Olympics. I admire the discipline that got you there. And think of it this way: you will have the fastest time of any Slovak woman who ran the marathon in the Olympics!
Love,
M
Zuzana,
You probably won't get to read this before you run,but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you, and I'm proud of you no matter what happens. Now is the time to throw all times out the window, and just go race. You belong there just as much as all your competitors,and anything can happen in a marathon. Enjoy the experience of being among the best marathoners in the world, and know that even if you finished dead last (which you won't) we couldn't be prouder here in Utah. Make yourself proud by running your best race possible. You are having an experience that I will probably never have. Enjoy it and make the most of it. I will be thinking of you.
Emily Jameson
Zuzka! I've sent you emails, but here's an extra little hug disguised as a comment! You've already received so much great advice at this point - relish the support and live in the moment. You will run your best race in the setting of your dreams and that's all that matters! Positive, positive positive! Brainstorm a few scenes that relax you or make you smile and bring them to mind when you're struggling in the race ... maybe you and me playing with monkeys in a gazebo in Africa or our paper being published in TQ or you growing all big with a baby when this race is over! haha..
You're amazing and this is your day! Enjoy!! love, Rai
Ahoj, Zuzka. Pozdravujú Ťa Mutišovci z Brezna. Držíme Ti všetky palce a sme na teba pyšní.
Zuzko,
jsi fakt dobra ze jsi dobehla navzdory tolika komplikacim !
Jsi nas hrdina at by se stalo cokoliv. Uzivejte s Alexem tenhle super zazitek !
A my moc dekujem za vynikajici reportaze.
VJZ
You are about the toughest and bravest woman I know, second only to
a family member who is being treated for cancer of the tongue. And yours is a joyful challenge, too. You are a hero, by golly.
You FINISHED! What a gal.
Love, Rivka
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